Okay so we all remember The Bell. The Damn Bell. The g.d.m.f.c.s. BELL. Yeah, that The Bell. It's been a couple of months since The Bell was used. Now, with Mom at the ALF, there is, of course, no more ringing of the bell. It has been retired, as it were, and it sets, gathering dust, on the shelf in my office. So yeah, the Bell is silent....sort of. I say, "sort of" because, well, because though there may be nobody ringing The Bell per se, my brain continues to insist on hearing it.
We'll subtitle this post: An Update On My Ongoing Struggle To Exorcize The Aforementioned Bell And It's Nauseating Tinkle From My Psyche.
The thing is..........there are surprisingly many things that share the same frequency and resonance as the tinkle of The Bell. Allow me to share a few:
- The next door neighbor's telephone. (It's apparently just the right distance away, with just the right number and type of barriers between wherever their phone is and my ear, to mimic the tinkle of The Bell.)
- The exhale portion of my bulldog, Emily's deep-sleep snore. (It's that last little respiratory effort that produces this sort of ringing-whistling sound--a dead-ringer for the tinkle.)
- (You're not going to believe this one.) The silver bracelets that Steve Tyler wears on his right wrist. Okay, okay, so I confess, I watch American Idol. But seriously. Every damn time Steven Tyler moves his right wrist (which is a lot, trust me), those stinkin' bracelets tinkle. Drives me crazy. I'd mute the sound except, well, it's American Idol. Kinda need the sound on.
- The high-pitched meow of my cat, Peter, when he's at the opposite end of the house crying for no apparent reason (He does this ALL THE TIME--just cries, incessantly, and, might I add, usually in the middle of the night! Stupid, needy fluffball of a cat. By the way, anybody want a stupid, needy fluffball of a cat? Stupid question. No, of course nobody wants a stupid, needy, fluffball of a cat that cries incessantly in the middle of the night for no apparent reason!!!! How do I end up with stupid, needy pets that meow, and snore, and whine, and snort, and take up half the bed, and rub their eye buggers all over my legs, and drag their stinky butts back and forth across the same rug I do my yoga on.......sorry, digression....)
Case in point. This morning, right before I woke up, I was having this weird dream that I was in the kitchen doing......something.......and Mom started ringing the bell from her room and I yelled, "I'll be right there Mom!" Then, in my dream, I started thinking, "Wait a minute, I thought Mom wasn't here...." And then the bell rang again, and just as I started to yell again, I woke up. And immediately, some tiny part of my consciousness realized it was really Peter meowing (cuz I remember thinking to myself, "Oh it's just the stupid cat meowing!), but because I was still mostly in dream-mode, most of my consciousness was convinced it was really Mom ringing The Bell. So before my consciousness was awake and aware enough to know better, I was already out of bed and walking toward my bedroom door before my brain finally "came to" and I suddenly stopped and realized there was no bell, no Mom.....just a stupid, needy, fluffball of a cat and a really eerie dream.
So yeah.......The Bell may be on the shelf, but my brain keeps hearing it ring, or tinkle, or snore, or meow...
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