converse

Today's theme is the word converse. That's all I'm tellin' ya.

So..........the dining room at Mom's ALF. First of all, let me just say that, I love this place. It's relaxing. It's bright. The staff smiles. The residents smile. My mom smiles. A lot. And, in turn, I smile. A lot. Big difference from Mom's previous experiences in nursing home/rehab facilities. No tears here. No wailing here. No irrational demands for hatchets. Oh yeah, good times.

Dad and I visited today. His first visit since a week and a half ago when Dad was Mr. Grumpy Gills the whole drive out, the whole visit there, and the whole drive home. But today.........today, I'm happy to report, was drastically different. Mom smiled the whole time we were there. She and Dad ate lunch together............well, Dad ended up eating most of Mom's lunch but nevertheless, they sat at the same table while Dad ate virtually everything that was placed in front of him. Dad insisted I taste the dessert--some graham cracker/vanilla pudding/blueberry pie filling concoction. He thought was delicious. Mom thought it was delicious. It was the only lunch item she scarfed down. They called it blueberry pudding pie. Whatever. Mom clearly loved it. How great to see her enjoying food.

Recliner Row. That's what I call the lineup of six, count 'em, SIX recliners all backed up against the back wall of the dining room, directly facing the windows. It's apparently a favorite hangout amongst the dementia-ed, and it ended up being where Mom, Dad, and I spent most of today's visit--Mom and Dad, side by side, in recliners, me in a little chair off to the side. (The other recliners were all taken. damn.) The highlight today in Recliner Row, for me anyway, was Pauline, a slight little woman with a raspy, deep voice who clearly sees and hears in only her own private world and who never hesitated the entire time we were there, sharing that world, out loud, with everybody else. Pauline ranted about needing to go the drugstore to buy gum, about wanting to get flowers for the cemetery, and about how somebody, SOMEBODY!, had to dance with her NOW!, which she did at one point, with one of the aides. But my favorite part about Pauline were the velcro Converse shoes she wore. Like the Converse shoes my kids wore as kids and still wear today. In a room of Rockports, slippers, and other therapeutic shoewear, Pauline's hunter green Converse stuck out like non-arthritic thumbs. They made a statement, a different beat of a different drum, kinda like Pauline.

On the drive over to the ALF, Dad complained several times about having to leave the dogs alone for the afternoon. "It's not right" he said at least three times, each one more forceful than the one before it. Personally, I found his excessive display of concern for the dogs somewhat unnerving. Especially since, not once, did he say anything about looking forward to seeing Mom. I dunno.......it just struck me as pretty strange.......though NOT really strange for my dad........pretty typical for him actually.......(I'm thinking out loud here, can you tell?)

Anyway...............on the drive home, I took Dad to Central Market in Poulsbo. He's never been. Last visit, Dad had no desire to see Central Market. Remember that drive home? That was when a bird was nonchalantly walking across the road--I saw a beautiful pheasant; Mr. Pouty Puss saw a scruffy old roadrunner holding up traffic. This time however, Dad was pretty eager to see Central Market. Inside, he was like a kid in a candy store. We bought sushi, and cookies, and chili rellenos, and petit fours. He was exhausted but invigorated, and yapped the whole way home about how he was going to feast on sushi for dinner.

The crowning glory to today's visit: when we pulled into the driveway and Dad said, "You know................I think I'm missing Mom more than she's missing me."