Friday, October 22, 2021

A Good Stupid Question

People who've been around me in the last couple of years and have had to endure my many life-vents (and a gracious thanks to them for never throwing me out on my ear mid-vent) know that I have a real bee in my brain bonnet about that old saying, "There's no such thing as a stupid question."

For people who don't know what I'm referring to, here's the synopsis: I hate it when teachers and parents tell kids, "There's no such thing as a stupid question" in an effort to encourage more questions. The problem with this so-called logic is that kids are way smarter than anybody realizes. Kids know that some questions are stupid questions, which is why a kid often prefaces a question with, "I know this is a stupid question but...." The reality is that there ARE a whole lot of stupid questions that NEED to be asked. Asking a stupid question doesn't make you stupid. It just means you need an answer to a question that may or may not be a question that a lot of other people already know the answer to. It's the rest of the people who need to get over the bugaboo about having only questions that nobody knows the answer to floating around the conversation table. (Of course there's the other case where adults defensively, albiet stupidly, respond to a really profound question like, "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" with "Don't ask such stupid questions!" because they simply don't know the answer.)

Since Dad died, I've been walking around asking a whole lot of stupid questions. Out loud to the dogs, to the trees, to the TV, to the darkness of night, to one of my many selves, to each of my other selves. I've been in that weird place that we often describe euphemistically.
"I've been working on stuff."
"I've been taking some time off."
"I'm seeing a therapist."
"I'm trying to figure some things out."

But the questions I've been asking are all good stupid questions.
"Why don't I feel like going anywhere?"
"Why don't I feel like doing anything?"
"Why don't I return phone calls?"
"What should I have for dinner?"
"Why can't I fall asleep?"
And my personal favorite really stupid, really good question, "What am I doing here?"