Monday, December 13, 2010

A Very Very Sarcastic Perspective of a Very Very Crazy Day

Dearest Most Beloved Diary,
What did I do today Diary? Golly, gee, it was such a goofy, wacky day, I don't even know where to begin! Hmmm, well let's see if I can try...

Okee-Dokee welllll.......First, I got up this morning around seven because my mother was calling for help. Gosh I just love it when she does that! Especially when it turns out she really doesn't need help with anything! Hahahah! She's such a jokster! This time was different though! Can you guess why? Can you? Can you??? RIGHT! She fell in her bedroom. Again! Oh no, I hate when that happens! It's okay though, she wasn't hurt or anything and between the two of us, we were able to get her back into bed without having to call 911. Wowee! I didn't even throw out my back! Yayyyyy us! What a team!

But hold on Diary Buddy, there's more! Second, I had to go to the dentist and have my temporary caps fixed for the second time! Why you ask? Well, because they keep popping off, silly! Why do they keep popping off? Well, because I seem to have been born with Teeth From Hell! Lucky me! But gee, how I do love going to see the dentist and having my teeth sanded and ground withOUT novocaine! Gosh it's fun!

And ya know what Diary? I thought that was a wacky way to start my day, but boy was I wrong! It was just starting! Third, after the dentist, I came home to find one of my two cats lying in the corner throwing up some clear mucous stuff and looking pretty much like he wished he was dead. Can you believe it?! But no problem! I called the vet and made an appointment at 4:15!

Bet you can't wait to hear what happened next, huh Diary? Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Fourth, I sat down to the computer to finally start a work project I was supposed to start last week but couldn't because I had to take Mom to the ER and sit there for four hours while they ran a bunch of tests that turned up nothing. Ooh golly, I sure do remember how much fun that was! But anyways where was I? Oh yeah, so I sat down to work, except I kept getting distracted because my sick cat kept throwing up in the hallway and, well.......somebody had to clean it up. Can you guess who that was, Diary? Right! Lucky me!

Okay Diary, now here comes the best part. Fifth, I took my sick cat to the vet, only to find out that apparently my cat ate something that poked a hole in his stomach and caused stomach acid to leak out and destroy a whole bunch of tissue in his gut. Poor kitty boy! So now......$1300 later, kitty boy has necrotic tissue removed, hole sewn up, tummy stapled together, and a whole lot of pain medication. Whoozy kitty boy! Kinda like Mom! Wow, how about that?! Gee-willikers, who knew I'd be spending $1300 on my cat today!!??? Wow, I love surprises like that!!

And Diary, here's the kicker of the whole entire crazy wacky day! Sixth, I came home from the vet, only to find my mom lying on the dining room floor and Dad sitting in the chair next to her. Ohhh noooo! Can you guess what happened Diary? You're right! Mom fell again! Another unexpected surprise! What a goofy day! Wait! I know, I know.....let's call 911 and get the big burly EMT guys to come over and help Mom up! Good idea! The big burly EMTs came. They put Mom to bed and she fell asleep pretty quickly. Wow, she had a big day didn't she?! Two falls in one day?! Bet she sleeps well tonight!

So Dearest Diary......we all had a pretty insane day here today! Wait, did I just use the word......in-sane???! Hahahahahahahah! That's so funny!

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