Forgive my cynicism but when election time rolls around I think about one thing and one thing only--the inevitable bombardment of political phone calls.
I don't know about you, but at our house, it seems like in the span of about two weeks, the number of politically-driven phone calls per day goes from "maybe one" to at least a half dozen....and most of those come between 4pm and 8pm.
Because I'm the one who generally answers the house phone (i.e. the landline phone), I'm the one who has to contend with all of the election-focused phone calls (taped and real-person).
Here's how these calls usually go:
1. The phone rings.
2. I think about whether or not I'll answer it. (Actually, this is how I deal with most phone calls. I'm not a big fan of the phone.)
3. If I answer it, I pick up the receiver and say, "Hello."
4. I wait for who, or whatever, is on the other end to respond.
5. If what I hear next is an obviously taped message, I hang up. If what I hear next is the voice of an actual, living, breathing human being who starts talking about anything political..... I hang up. (As I said, I'm not a fan.)
Yesterday afternoon, as I walked through the living room, past my dad who was engrossed (I thought) in his daily habit of absorbing The Seattle times, Dad stopped reading, waved me down and said, "Hey! Somebody called earlier, but it was a political somethingorother."
"Yeah, I know. It's election time. "
Dad threw up his hands and sort of barked, "I just hung up on them. " (Said the "mighty apple tree" to the "little apple.")
We exchanged a little chuckle and I kept walking.
Now cut to around 8pm that night. I was in my bedroom (far away, thankfully from the house phone).
The phone rang.
True to my custom, I thought about whether or not to go in and answer it.
But before I could make a decision, Dad picked it up! (I should mention........Dad got a new hearing aid last week and, since he can now hear a bit better than before, he has been choosing to answer the phone from time to time. (Apparently he was feeling a little frisky.)
Dad: HELLO!
Phone Person: Good evening sir, I'm calling from the Washington State of ........... (I have no idea who this person.....it was a woman......was representing.....couldn't really hear and it doesn't really matter because Dad totally cut the woman off mid-sentence.)
Dad: WAIT! WAIT! Who is this?
Phone Person: (She repeats her little speech again.....Dad cuts her off again.)
Dad: WAIT! Slow down! You're talking too fast!
Phone Person starts again, slower. Dad interrupts again.
Dad: WAIT! Who is this? What's your name?
Phone Person: Excuse me sir?
Dad: I SAID, What's. Your. Name?
Phone Person: My name is Mindy, sir.
Then there's a pause of about five seconds until Dad speaks again. But this time, he's strangely calm and weirdly flirtatious.
Dad: Well, hellooooo Miiiindy.
Phone Person: (click)
Heh, heh, heh. Election time just got a little easier.
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