T-Shirt Ghost

Remember when you used to play ghost by putting on a big t-shirt only part way, so your head was still inside the shirt, and your arms were sort of stuck halfway inside the armholes, elbows suspended upward in mid-air? Then you'd walk around flailing your arms around and wailing, in a weird, ghostly voice, "wooooooooooh, woooooooh" trying to scare your little sister or brother, or the family dog? Remember that? You did that, right?

I wasn't the only one......was I?

Okay. So Mom just called me into her room. She generally retires pretty early, usually around 7pm. She goes to her room, sits in her chair, gets undressed, puts on her calf-length, long-sleeved, L. L. Bean cotton, nightgown, gets into bed, and watches television for a few hours before actually falling asleep.

She called me because she needed help with her shoes. Specifically, the velcro straps of her Rockports. So I dashed in. Ripped open the straps and removed her shoes and her socks (the one with little cows all over them). I noticed that she already had her nightgown on. "Well, looks like you're all set for the night!"

"yeeeees" she moaned. Mom moans her yes-es. It's kind of become her trademark. In fact, when I think about it, she hasn't answered a question with a normal, "Yes" in years. Since about 2005, it's been a long, drawn out, moany, somewhat forlorn--"yeeeeees."

Anyway, shoes and socks successfully removed, I went back to the office. Not two minutes later Mom called again, this time, a little more frantically, "Deniiiiiise!"

I jumped up and was at her door in seconds, expecting to find her trying to get to something just out of reach. Instead, there she was, still sitting in her chair, looking like the t-shirt ghost from my childhood.......except, of course, Mom's version was pink (cuz her nightgown is pink).

I just stood and stared. I couldn't figure out how she did it! Her head was completely hidden. Her arms were twisted up inside the nightgown, over and around her head. Basically, I couldn't see any part of my mother from the waist up. Just a bunch of pink, lobular shapes. It was kind of crazy.

I blurted out, "Whoa! Where'd you go???!" (It was a really, really good t-shirt ghost.)

"I......don't......knowwwww" she moaned back.

Then I remembered that she had her nightgown ON not two minutes before when I was in to take her shoes off. "Wait a minute......Are you taking your nightgown on or off?"

"I......don't.........knowwwww."

I mean, truly, you should've seen the Chinese knot she had her arms in inside that nightgown. It was amazing!

But seriously, I had to get her out of this mess. And that depended on whether I needed to try and pull the nightgown off, or put the nightgown back on. So I asked the obvious question, "Are you trying to put your nightgown on?"

"yeeeeeeeees."

And just for kicks (cuz she just sounded and looked so cute!) I had to ask again, "Do you want me to help you?"

"yeeeeeeees."

Thankfully, it wasn't as complicated as it looked. Somehow she had put her head AND one of her arms through the neck hole of the nightgown. Total mystery. I have no explanation.

Got everything back in order, arms and head where they were supposed to be. "Okay, that's better" I said to her before leaving. "You okay now?"

And, of course she answered, "yeeeeeeees."