Maybe I'm exhausted.
Maybe my brain is fried.
Maybe I just don't care.
Maybe all of those are true.
All I know is...........for the last two weeks, I've spent more one-on-one tutorial time with my mother and that damned (Now see........that's a bad sign.......swearing right out of the gate like that....) tv remote control than I care to recall. Lemme just say that I HATE DEMENTIA. (Uh oh, see? All caps.........another bad sign.......). But what I despise even more is.........having to conduct these little tv remote tutorials at 1:30 IN THE MORNING..........for the THIRD TIME SINCE MIDNIGHT!!!!! (Arrrrgh! And now, the repeating exclamation points.......this is deteriorating rapidly.)
okay. Deep breath. (Please pause as I take revisit my kriya yoga deep-breathing technique.)
All right. As I was saying...............It's just been very difficult for me to figure what to write about...........and then, HOW to write about it even if I COULD figure out what it was I should write about! (Note the single exclamation point.)
And then there's.....The Bell. The sweet little antique silver bell Mom uses to ring when she needs me to come help her go to the bathroom. At least, that's what the bell is SUPPOSED to be used for. The. Bell. The bell. The bell. ThebellthebellthebellTHEBELLLLLL! The freakin', stinkin', stupid-ass, g.d., m.f., c.s. BELL!!!!!!!! Do you know how many times I get awakened out of completely sound and deliciously deep sleep by that @#$@#% bell???? (Oh f___ the repeating punctuation!!!!!!!!!! Screw the swearing!!!!!) Crawled out of my nice comfortable bed, staggered in my sleepy stupor to the other end of the house to see what "emergency" I was being summoned to address........only to find out that Mom couldn't remember how to change the F----ing channel from CNN to the Western channel........when it's already ON the f______ Western channel??????
"Ringy,ringy,ringy,ringy,ringy!"
Oh.
My.
God.
She's ringing her bell for me RIGHT NOW! While I'm sitting here trying to write (finally) a blog entry!!!!
Ringy, ringy, ringy, ringy, ringy!"
And again........
Does this count as a blog entry?
OMG! time to lose the remote! great post! my heart is with you xxo
ReplyDeleteSeriously. She rang the bell while I was writing about The Bell. Didn't whether to laugh or cry. I just clicked on Save and Post and went to see what she needed. And you won't believe this-----she couldn't FIND the remote! (It was tucked under her blanket.) I'm tellin you.......walking a very narrow line here in sunny Sequim.
ReplyDeleteDo you want me to accidentally trim your TV cable cord in 17 places at 5am tomorrow morning?
ReplyDeleteI have ninja pajamas.
Denise, I remember the same remote issues with my mom. And, putting up signs with giant arrows to try to help direct her to the bathroom, since she just couldn't remember how to get there...the only other place she went to in our house aside from her room. Love it that you are a wonderful, red-blooded curser! :o) Thanks for your blog posts. I thoroughly enjoy reading your stuff.
ReplyDeleteMimi
Mimi! Laughed out loud at the image of having giant arrows posted all over the house. Thank goodness we can find these weird threads of humor in an otherwise really depressing situation. Thanks so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteJess..........I so WANT your Ninja Pajamas. That should be the title for a one-act. btw......loved seeing you, albeit briefly, at rehearsal the other night!